Shoved out of your home? Make your own.

— The Linc’s Questionable Advice correspondent Maken Eetup gives his take on the accommodation situation in Lincoln.

Welcome back to Lincoln – it’s time for a bright new term of opportunities, creativity and promise. Oh, by the way… you’ve got nowhere to live.

There, that brought you back to the grim heartless reality we live in. Many students are outraged that they’re being forced out of their beds because the providers got in bed with the university.

Now those Pavilions contracts have been thrown in the bin, it's time to come up with alternative solutions. Photo: Jonathan Cresswell

The plan was to stop panic by not saying that places were limited, but somehow revealing that they’re all full on the same day is supposed to be better? The attitude is like saying: “Well we didn’t want to scare you about AIDS by telling you to use a condom,” which isn’t particularly good advice.

Things aren’t as bad for the incoming freshers, but when 60% of them aren’t in the university’s own accommodation it’s clear things haven’t been thought through well. Or at all.

As the university has an obsession of expansion with new buildings, forgetting to build anywhere for the students who use them to actually live is a bit of an oversight.

Then again, avoiding Courts is possibly a blessing in disguise as they consider heating and hot water an optional extra – subject to availability.

The relationship between the university and the company that manages Courts, Santuary, feels more like the Chuckle Brothers as responsibility can get passed to me, to you, to me, to you…

But if rooms weren’t put aside, returning students would be fine but then people new to Lincoln would have nowhere to go. It’s like a game of “Deal or No Deal” where somebody has to get shafted.

With all the rooms in private halls taken, many students are now forced to get a house with a company like Lighthouse, and those sorts of houses can be described at best as… nope, they can’t be.

If you’re still looking for a home then you could try a more inventive solution – occupy a room at the university! The beanbag room in the Main Admin Building has been well tested, so you get nice furniture, warmth and more reliable facilities than most places that charge. It’s a brilliant idea, as you can
simultaneously protest against the lack of rooms and be part of the solution!

If that doesn’t take your fancy, why not take some inspiration from everybody’s favourite television show of the moment, “Big Fat Gypsy Weddings”. There’s plenty of green space in front of the Architecture building that the University of Lincoln hasn’t yet managed to stick a new building on, which is perfect for a little caravan congregation. It’s surrounded by a bunch of shops so you’re never too far from everything you need.

And if all else fails, just budge up between the turkey ducks and set up camp alongside the Brayford – and students can truly all be in this together.

One Response to Shoved out of your home? Make your own.

  1. Richard C says:

    Makes sense – you can get a good 4 berth touring or even a static caravan on Ebay for £4,000 ( delivered) and sell it at the end of the year for £3,800.

    Plenty of room for one person or a couple in the tourer or two or three in a static caravan – It’s bound to take a year before you are evicted.

    September would be a good time to buy when everyone has finished their holidays – and think of the huge dress or tattoos you could buy with the money you will have saved.